Three Kaida Insanity With Yamis on Top
by Slave To Noah
Summary: What happens when the three Kaibas and a bunch of yamis mix? All hell breaks loose! Pirmarily in normal POV, OC, and one of the rarest FF characters...NOAH! Orphanage Arc is over. Please no flames...They'll make me hate you.
1. Chapter 1

Okay...Ummmmm...Yeah. Oh! Now I remember! The Kaiba brothers, Mokuba Kaiba, Seto Kaiba, and Noah Kaiba have to live under the same roof for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very (I think you see where I'm going with this) long time. And guess what? The yamis: Bakura, Marik, Atem, and J.P. (OC), are there to make things that much worse! Will the Kaiba brothers survive? Or will the yamis help drive the three to the brink of insanity?

Disclaimer: The day I own Yu-Gi-Oh is the day when Chazz Princeton beats Jaden Yuki in a duel. That's never gonna happen so I don't own it.

NOTE: I suck at writing, so it's in play form

NOTE: I hate prologes, so I just jump in on Day 2. The yamis are already there and Noah has been freed from the computer.

DAY 2: Life is killing me

_**CRASH!!!!**_

The youngest of the three Kaiba brothers was awakened by a definate crash. Mokuba, who's Pjs read 'Sleeping Now... Come Back Later' was awakened by the crash, proceeded to awaken his other brothers. However a second even louder crash woke them up.

_**CRASH!!!!**_

"Wha-what's going on?" said Noah who's Pjs read 'Life really sux'.

" WHO MADE THAT LOUD NOISE!?!? NOAH!!!!" Seto shouted from his room.

" HEY! I DIDN'T DO IT! IT WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THOSE STUPID YAMIS!!!" Noah shouted to the eldest Kaiba's bedroom.

Seto stuck his head out of his room. He wore a simple, practical, black, silk Pjs. He saw his two younger siblings at either side of the hall.

" So? What are you waiting for? Go check it out!"

Okay, maybe I should rephrase that first part. He was _glaring_ at _Noah._

"Fine! I'll go!" Noah growled.

Noah walked down the steps grumbling something about _dumb yamis_ and _lazy hikaris_ and _pancakes_ as he walked downstairs. He figured the sound had come from the kitchen, seeing as that was the only place where there was a glass dish anywhere. When he walked into the kitchen he found Marik and Bakura spinning from a ceiling fan that threatened to fall off at any moment.

" Guys, get off the fan!"

"Okay!" they said, but as soon as they let go, the ceiling fan fell and went spinning towards Noah. He ducked just in time to watch the fan land bahind him.

"Guys, quit it! If Seto sees how much damage you're doing then he'll murder me!" Noah shivered. Only Mokuba knew this, but Noah was secretly scared of his older brother.

"Eh, don't sweat it" Atem said

"Whaddaya mean?" Noah asked

" They get all that energy from Klondike Bars. It'll eventually wear off."

"Okay" Noah paused. "HEY!!! MY KLONDIKE BARS!!!"

Noah ran to the freezer looking for his ice cream bars. Sadly,

there were none left.

"Awwwww...They ate 'em all..." he sunk to the floor. "I was saving those for Mokie..."

Noah started to hear footfalls on the staircase not too far away. _...Damn..._ Noah thought. _I'm screwed! Unless he doesn't see the..._

"NOAH!!! WHAT IS THE CEILING FAN DOING IN MY LIVING ROOM!?!?" Seto yelled. _Damn_ Noah thought.

"TWO SUGAR-HIGH YAMIS HAPPENED!!!" Noah responded

"AND HOW EXACTLY DID THEY MANAGE TO GET SUGAR-HIGH?!?!"

"46 KLONDIKE BARS AND 7 GLASSES OF KOOL AID WILL DO THAT TO YA!"

It took J.P., Atem, Mokuba, and Noah 4 hours to get the yamis to calm down. Seto didn't help because it seemed he was to 'busy'. _Yeah...sneaking up to your room to watch BET music videos isn't considered important or deserving of attention. _Noah thought. They decided to watch Kids WB because it was Saturday. Why? Because I control this fic!

They were watching this show called Legion of Superheroes.

**Mokuba's POV (Point of View)**

I like Saturday morning cartoons! I wanted to watch Sonic X on 4Kids TV...but Noah said that 4Kids was evil. I didn't understand how it could be evil, but I knew Noah could get really pissed really easily. He had even managed to make friends with those rowdy yamis. Heh. He's almost a yami himself.

Anyway, I saw this guy that the superheroes kept calling 'Brainy'. He was a computer system or a robot or something. _Wait, computer system????_ I looked at Noah who was sitting on the floor. _I wonder_...

**Noah's POV**

WOW. This show, Legion of superheroes, really, really, really sucked! I'm starting to wish that I had let Mokie watch Sonic X. I stood up and streched.

"Anyone up for pancakes?" I said.

"Oh! ohoh!Ohohoh! I do! I do!" Said Mokuba raising his hand.

I walked upstairs to my room. Then, making sure that the door was closed and locked, I began to undress. I found that my usual clothing was wet with something foul smelling and yellow. _I swear...when get my hands on Bakura I'll...!_ I simply tossed it aside. I found forest camo outfit that Mokie gave me for my birthday. When I put it on and looked at myself I felt pretty ridiculus. I caught sight of my pajama shirt that I had thrown aside onto my bed.

"You're right." I muttered putting it away. "Life really does suck."


	2. Chapter 2

Okay...Ummmmm...Yeah. Oh! Now I remember! The Kaiba brothers, Mokuba Kaiba, Seto Kaiba, and Noah Kaiba have to live under the same roof for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very (I think you see where I'm going with this) long time. And guess what? The yamis: Bakura, Marik, Atem, and J.P. (OC), are there to make things that much worse! Will the Kaiba brothers survive? Or will the yamis help drive the three to the brink of insanity?

Disclaimer: The day I own Yu-Gi-Oh is the day when Chazz Princeton beats Jaden Yuki in a duel. That's never gonna happen so I don't own it.

At the Pancake House

Seto Kaiba was, how do you say, socially enept. The thought of eating in front of people didn't appeal to him. Not to mention the possibility of...of...the dreaded..._fangirls._ So, using his inheirted and pretty much limitless wealth, he rented out the whole pancake house. This caused a lot of pandemonium, as everyone seemed to want a table of their own. Especially between J.P. and Marik, who both wanted table seven, the one closest to the kitchen.

"Marik, move! I was here first!"

"No, you weren't!"

"Get...your fat ass...out...of that chair!"

"What'd you just call me?!?!"

" Fat!"

"Take it back!"

"No! It's true and you know it!"

"That's it!" Marik said and grabbed a syrup bottle from the table and shot a thick stream of the sticky brown liquid at her tank top.

"Uhhhahhhh!!!" She said, looking at the stain Marik had created on her top.

"Ha! Take that, bi-otch!"

"Marik, you bitchy asshole! This is my favorite shirt!" J.P. said, and grabbed and squirted some jelly in Marik's hair (you know those bottles of jelly where you just squeeze and it comes out? Yeah, that kind).

That started and all-out, take-no-prisoners, no-holds-barred, jelly/syrup war. J.P. and Noah used jelly, while Marik and Bakura used syrup. They were always running out of ammo, because most of the time, they were eating it. So it's not hard to imagine them getting sugar-high. They knocked over tables and used them as shields, sometimes they just stood on them. Seto Kaiba wasn't really interested. After all, _they_ were going to pay to replace the jelly and syrup they were using up. He looked around. And, it was atually quite entertaining. But something was wrong, and at first he didn't know what but then...

"WHERE THE HECK IS MOKUBA?!?!"

They were in the middle of the end. The effects of the sugar was wearing off, plauging them with horrible headaches, and heavy eyelids. Neither side was giving up, though. As they fought against blacking out and the painful headaches, they kept shooting at each other. They had long since gotten drenched, and their clothes were sticking to them, drying, crusting...making it impossible to shift positions. Just as they thought there would be no clear cut winner...

"NACHOOOOOOO" Mokuba yells, and, matrix style, drenches both sides with extremely gooey honey. Both sides fall in defeat from the gooey-ness of the honey. Or...maybe they just blacked out. I forget which. Mokuba stands tall on the table and with his last bit of conciousness, begins to sing,

"We are the champions, my friends...and we'll keep on fighting, 'til end..." Mokuba lost conciousness after that. But the last thing he heard was the cold voice of Seto Kaiba.

"...oh, you guys are _**so**_ dead..."

If you're wondering what happened to Atem, he had been hiding in the mens' room to avoid getting hit by any syrup and/or jelly. He learned somthing, too. _Never let anyone see your manliness except your lover and espcially if you have a midget._ Seto also learned a lesson. _When you take the yamis out, be sure to have a pooper scooper and a leash._

_That's all for now! Plz review!_

_Or not._

_Ukibo, shut up or you're going back into the basement!_

_NOOO! Don't send me back there! Micheal Jackson and Oro are down there!_

_I know. Anyway, Review!_

_Or not._

**_UKIBO!!!_**

_shuts up for fear of being sent back to the pedophiles_

_

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_


	3. Chapter 3

Okay...Ummmmm...Yeah. Oh! Now I remember! The Kaiba brothers, Mokuba Kaiba, Seto Kaiba, and Noah Kaiba have to live under the same roof for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very (I think you see where I'm going with this) long time. And guess what? The yamis: Bakura, Marik, Atem, and J.P. (OC), are there to make things that much worse! Will the Kaiba brothers survive? Or will the yamis help drive the three to the brink of insanity?

Disclaimer: The day I own Yu-Gi-Oh is the day when Chazz Princeton beats Jaden Yuki in a duel. That's never gonna happen so I don't own it.

_

* * *

_Seto had important business to attend to. But the most important was an interveiw with Kinoyes Rumohi on channel #4759 to endorse people to buy his duel disk product. Now, they were flying off the shelves, but some people (girls) returned them on the grounds the his face wasn't on it. When questioned about WHY they wanted a headshot of Seto Kaiba, well, I can only describe it in one word: _fangirls. _

So he came to the IASID (International Airing Station In Domino), to have it filmed and aired. He hadn't forgotten, either. All the yamis except Atem were on leashes, Mokuba and Noah were on leashes as well (obvious reasons). However, he couldn't take them to the interveiw room, or he'd look like a jerk. So he tied them up to a bench, while Atem sat on the bench they were attached to.

"Listen!" Seto whispered to Atem. "These guys, cannot get loose. Give them 100 of your attention, or Ra help me, I'll give you 100 of my foot up your ass!"

"Chillax! I'll make sure they don't get out!" Atem said, laid back about the whole thing.

"Good." Seto said. "I've probably never told you this...in fact I probably never will again. But I'm counting on ya, Atem!"

"You can trust me!" Atem said to Seto's back. He just lifted his hand to show he heard. Then, he dissappeared into the room down the hall.

"This'll be easy. What could go wrong?" Atem asked. Just then, Mokuba chewed through the leather that attached his leash to the bench.

Atem smacked himself on his forehead and shook his head. "Note to self: _**NEVER ASK 'WHAT COULD WRONG'**!!!"_

**_A teeny bit later_**

-A/N- anything like :this is talking. anything like this is an action

Noah- Hello friends! I hope you enjoy this special airing of **_Noah and the Yamis!_** (Yes. There _was _**_ALOT_** of argueing about the title)Reaches down. comes back with a nail gun OR ELSE!!! shoots camera

* * *

**_Somewhere else_**

Kura: Marik, try this delicious cheese!

Rik: trys the cheese O.O IT'S DELICIOUS!!! WHAT KIND OF CHEESE IS IT!?!?!

Kura: Nacho Cheese

Rik: puases WAIT! CUT! CUT!!!!

Kuba: What's wrong Marik?

Rik: 'Puases'? What the hell is a 'puases'?!?!?

Kuba: I guess some one just misspelled 'pauses'

Rik: not listening 'PUASES'!?!? IS THAT EVEN A WORD????

J.P.: off-set Marik...

Rik: STILL not listening I can't work like this!!! storms off-stage

Kura: talking to camera He's just mad cause he peed the bed!

Noah:...you know the camera's still rolling right?

Kura: jumping back Graaaaaah!!!

* * *

**_Somewhere else_**

Rik: We honor the death of Noah Kaiba. May he find peace- ah, screw it. starts dancing on Noah's grave

???: What are you doing? Noah walks on stage licking an ice-cream cone

Rik: **_AHHHHHH!!!! ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!! _**runs off-stage screaming like an imbusil and flailing his arms

Noah: shrugs and walks off-stage

Kuba: Noah, where'd you get that?

Noah: Ice-cream truck.

J.P.: Hey, I wanted Ice-cream!

Noah: You should have gotten one.

J.P.: I didn't know the Ice-cream truck was here!

Noah: That's...thinking ...That's really not my problem quickly finishes the rest

Kuba: Baka! I hope you get brainfreeze!

Noah: grabs head_** AHHHHHH!!!! MY BRAIN!!!!! IT HURTS!!!**_

J.P.: snickers What brain?

* * *

**_Somewhere else_**

???: Oh Baaaakaaaa Phhhaaaaroooooah!!!

Atem: turns around

Kura: holding chainsaw

Rik: holding Flamethrower

Atem: Turns around and starts running like hell

Rik: Come back here pharoah! It'll only feel like a thousand knives are cutting your raw flesh at the same time, then like you've entered the 7th level of hell!!!!

Atem: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!!!!!??????

Kura: No, but you can't run forever!

Atem: Why not?

Kura: Because we got the Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force on our side!

Rik: YEAH!!!!

J.P.: off-stage THAT'S IT!!!! YOU TWO ARE GOING BACK ON YOUR MEDS!!! brandishes a BIG needle

Kura & Rik: drops weapons NOOOO!!!! NOT THE MEDS!!!!

Kura: It'll get us like a vampire! Call Buffy! Or Piper! Or Peter Pan! Or Guyiti!

Rik: Who?

* * *

Noah: That completes another episode of **_Noah and the Yamis!_** And remember pulls out nail gun love us, or die!!!

* * *

As irony would have it, the yamis plus Noah and Mokuba accidentally made their tape over the interview tape of Seto and Kinoyes. So when everyone turned to 4759 to watch the interview, they found a 45-minute long tape, of their creation. the last 15 minutes was of Seto's interveiw (no one, not even Seto, saw the end of the tape). Of course, Atem was also put on a leash, and Mokuba's leather was replaced with a chain. Atem had the taste of shoe polish in his mouth for a week (It went THAT far up!).

**_END_**

* * *

_Yay! Ukibo has been sent to the Pedophile Lair for bad behavior._

_OH GOD! UKIBI HELP _

_evil laugh_

_REVIEW!!!!_


	4. Chapter 4

Okay...Ummmmm...Yeah. Oh! Now I remember! The Kaiba brothers, Mokuba Kaiba, Seto Kaiba, and Noah Kaiba have to live under the same roof for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very (I think you see where I'm going with this) long time. And guess what? The yamis: Bakura, Marik, Atem, and J.P. (OC), are there to make things that much worse! Will the Kaiba brothers survive? Or will the yamis help drive the three to the brink of insanity?

Disclaimer: The day I own Yu-Gi-Oh is the day when Chazz Princeton beats Jaden Yuki in a duel. That's never gonna happen so I don't own it.

* * *

_ATTACK OF THE RABID **FANGIRLS!!! **_/lightning,dramatic scream/

Seto was seriously annoyed. His money was taking a huge beating. The cost to repair the very expesive ceiling fan was 70,000 yen. The cost to replace the jelly, syrup, and honey was 987,000 yen. And the cost to fix the pancake house was 2,000,000 yen.So he had lost 3,057,000 yen with these jokers. Today he was going to Domino Radio station. Now you may be asking, 'Why does Seto keep bringing the yamis, Mokuba, and Noah if they're costing him so much money?' Simple. Do you _really_ think Seto would leave 5 immature, living bulldozers and a spineless pharoah in his unimaginably expensive mansion? Didn't think so.

Domino Radio Station was where his next interview was going to take place. He secured all 6 of his burdens on a stone bench outside of the station. He smirked his trademark smirk and walked away, his trademark trenchcoat following.

**_Somewhere inside the radio station_**

Some guy named Dominik was pacing inside his booth.

"Calm down, Dominik! This interview will go just fine! What could go wrong?"

**_Back outside the radio station_**

J.P. found that the metal link connecting her collar to her leash had a gap in it from her pulling so much. She carefully navigated her collar out of the link.

"Huh" J.P. said once she was free. "Someone, somewhere must have said WCGW" And she began to free the others.

**_Inside the radio station-Seto_**

Seto walked into a medium sized booth. Inside was a lank teenager of about 17.

"Hello Mr. Kaiba. My name is Dominik. I'm pleased to see you've made it!"

"'Kay, thanks. Now, can we get this over with? I'm very busy, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'll have to ask you to put these on" Dominik gave Seto a pair of giant headphones.

"I'm not putting those on!" Seto said very matter-of-factly. Dominik sweatdropped.

**_Inside the radio station-The yamis, Mokuba, and Noah_**

"Guys! Guys, in here!" Noah said, pointing to an empty booth.

Everyone piled into the booth. J.P. found 5 headphones which she handed out to Mokuba, Noah, Marik, Bakura, and herself.

"Atem, you've got watch duty."

"How come I've got watch duty?"

"Because I said you do!"

"Heh" Bakura chuckled. "Duty"

**_Inside the radio station- Seto_**

Seto finally agreed to put on the ridiculus headphones. He was glad no one could see him inside th secluded booth. _Boy named Dominik, secluded booth, dull lighting...Nope! nothing wrong with situation at all!_

_"_Well come to STFU 45.9! Today, we have Seto Kaiba in here, if u have any questions just call and- ooh! looks like we've gota caller!" Dominik pushes a button on the telephone. "Caller, you're on!"

_"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Shreicked a voice. It was obviusly female._

"Danmit woman! WTH is wrong you!?!?

" Mr.Kaiba, Please don't use profanity.

"Fine, but I promise nothing."

_"Are you really Seto Kaiba?!?!"_

"Yes..."

_"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" She shreiked again._

"OKAY, GOODBYE CALLER!!!" Seto pressed the same button Dominik had pushed moments before. The caller was dissconected.

" I'm gonna need a little blue pill after this..." Dominik said, rubbing his temples.

**_Inside the radio station- The yamis, Noah, and Mokuba_**

"Welcome to The Mixer, the best hour of your daily routine!" said Mokuba. I'm your host, Mokuba Kaiba! Joining me is my stepbrother Noah, and... some random people."

" Mokuba, we've got a caller!" Noah said. "Caller, you're now on The Mixer."

_"Uh, yes. When you say 'random people' does that include Kura-kun?"_

"Whaddaya want?" 'Kura-kun' said.

_"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"_

"WTH HAVE YOU BEEN SNIFFING!?!?" J.P. said and dissconnected the caller

**_Inside the radio station-Seto_**

Dominik had taken his 'little blue pill' and felt less egdy. Seto had popped Boulevard Of Broken Dreams by Green Day. When he returned he found that Seto was singing along.

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever Known

Don't know where it goes

but it's only me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk a-

My shadow's

The only one who walks beside me-

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Kaiba?"

Seto jumped. He didn't think anyone could here him. The room was soundproofed, after all.

"Oh, Dominik, uh, ahem, uh, care to finish the interview?" Seto has never looked embarassed before. But boy, was he red.

**_Inside the radio station- The yamis, Noah, and Mokuba_**

They were having problems as well. For the last 50 minutes, There had been nothing but crazed (and probably rabid) fangirls. None of them could take it anymore. Bakura and Marik had to be tied up and striped of their Millinium Items so they wouldn't send the equipment to the Shadow Realm. Much to everyone's happiness, they had to leave and stop.

**_Outside the radio station_**

J.P. helped everyone with their leashes before securing her own.

"If a tall guy with blue eyes asks, we were here the whole time!" Marik shouted to a bunch of random people.

"Oh, but, weren't you?" Everyone turned around slowly to find Seto Kaiba right behind them.

"Marik, you asswipe..."

* * *

_And...DONE!!!_

_About time too. this is why people don't read your stuff, you take too long to update._

_Hey, I was busy!!! but...you're probably right..._

(1) _"was a caller" _

_(2)_ Singing

_(3) thoughts_


	5. Chapter 5

Okay...Ummmmm...Yeah. Oh! Now I remember! The Kaiba brothers, Mokuba Kaiba, Seto Kaiba, and Noah Kaiba have to live under the same roof for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very (I think you see where I'm going with this) long time. And guess what? The yamis: Bakura, Marik, Atem, and J.P. (OC), are there to make things that much worse! Will the Kaiba brothers survive? Or will the yamis help drive the three to the brink of insanity?

Disclaimer: The day I own Yu-Gi-Oh is the day when Chazz Princeton beats Jaden Yuki in a duel. That's never gonna happen so I don't own it.

I don't normally do this. I was on vacation for a week and a half, so sorry this took so long...

* * *

How? How? No matter what he did, he, Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp., was being outsmarted by 4 retarded yamis, his innocent brother, and his jackass of a stepbrother. He had to go to the manufacturing building tomorrow afternoon, and the dog leashes had failed him. Not just once, but TWICE. He looked through blueprints of the factory, searching for a spare room or a rabid animal compartment. Or even better. Fangirl room. 

Deep into the night he looked. He finally found excactly what he was looking for. He put the blueprints away and went to bed. There will be no chaos tomorrow. He'd made sure of it.

**_Next Morning At The Factory_**

The factory was huge. There were moving cranes dangling over conveyer belts. Complete Duel Disks were piled up in one corner, while faulty ones were inside garbage bins. There were a million crates and about a million more boxes. They saw 50 extremely sweaty people at the conveyer belts and 10 others operating heavy machinery. Seto lead them through all of this, but stopped at a steel plated door.

"Listen. There is a lot of things behind this door. And it's all for you." Seto said and opened the door. As you could probably guess, the room was pitch black. They were all trying to see what was inside. Seto gave Noah a kick in the butt, which caused him and everyone else to fall into the room. Seto turned on the lights, and then locked the door, which was locked from the outside.

**_Inside the room_**

"Great! I'm stuck in here with abunch of morons!" Noah yelled.

"Hey!"said J.P. and Mokuba.

"Where are we?" Bakura asked.

"The Spare Room." Mokuba said. "Big brother kept spare parts in here."

"Okay, so how do we get out?" Marik asked

"We just have to wait for WCGW." J.P. said. "It's never failed us before."

**_Hawaii_**

"I don't think we should go surfing" said a little Hawaiian boy

"Well why not? Come on, What could go wrong?" said a slightly older Hawaiian boy.

**_Inside the room_**

Atem couldn't sit on the hard, cold, steel. It hurt his butt. He got up and tried to lean on the door, but as soon as his weight was on it, the door flew open

"Oh, yeah! Seto was supposed to have that fixed." Mokuba said

"No thanks, I'll just stay here..." Atem says, retreating into the room.

"Fine" J.P. says, and, with the help of her fellow yamis, seal the door with shadow magic. Just their luck, everyone was out on lunch break. Boy, were they gonna have a feild day!

Bakura and Marik grabbed onto the cranes and allowed themself to be carried all around the factory main room. And to add to that, when they said "Hup, hup!" They let go and broke a duel disk. Mokuba was more interested in the candy machine off to one corner.

Noah was learning how to drive the huge machine that transported the giant crates. He had his learners permit, but that didn't mean he wasn't reckless. Noah hit the thing full throttle, and went speeding all around the factory, being extra sure to crash into everything and ignore the brakes.

J.P. was using shadow magic to levitate and throw things at random parts of the factory, narrowly missing her commrades heads. She even threw a fully made duel disk into the huge vehicle Noah was driving. They were having so much fun, that they almost didn't hear the bell.

"Uh-oh. Lunch is over!" J.P. annoced.

"Everybody, get in!"Noah ordered. J.P. Bakura, and Marik got in wthout hestitation. Noah scooped Mokuba up, who had completely colasped.

Noah drove, as reckless as ever, through the park. With the authorites on their tail, Noah parked the mechine halfway into the living room of Kaiba Mansion. Needless to say, Kaiba was pissed. Later that day, Mokuba spoke up.

"Guys, I think we forgot something...

**_Back at the factory_**

"Hello?" Atem called."Is...is there anyone out there? Hello? I'm hungry..."

* * *

_Yayz!_

_-pulls out bazooka- UPDATE FASTER!!!_

_OKAY , OKAY!! Geez, no need to get hostile..._

_**Loyal reviewers, aka Journey Maker, cause only she reveiws my work! -looks at other authors- I need your help! My creativity matrix is in the red, I'm running out of ideas! I you don't give me another idea, the story could end next chappie! If you don't want that, give me an idea or two!**_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The person who created Yu Gi Oh was a dude and I'm a girl. Do the math (If you say 'sex change' your fucking dead!)

* * *

It was early morning in the Kaiba mansion. Everyone, even the unruly yamis, were asleep. Then it happened. BANG! CRASH! THUMP! -shatter- VROOM, VROOM! -chainsaw whirring- 

"WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THAT NOISE!?!?" Noah shouted. J.P. stepped out of her room in a tee-shirt so long it was more like a dress.

"I dunno," she yawned. "But whatever it is, I'm gonna fucking kill it for waking me up."

They both crept down the stairs, being careful not to do one of three things: wake up seto, alert whoever was downstairs, or both. Noah, who was smart enough to bring a flashlight, shone the beam on the landing below.

"Noah, why do you have that thing anyway?" J.P. asked.

"Personal reasons," Noah said bluntly.

When they finally reached the floor, Noah shone the light all over the living room. nothing. "Don't see anything down here." he said. All of a sudden a loud shattering noise echoed throughout the entire house (and that's saying a lot considering how big their house is). They both jumped and froze, goosebumps all over. "J-J-J.P?" he stuttered. He was pretty scared, cause Noah never stuttered.

"Yeah?" She said, struggling to keep her voice even.

Suddenly they heard a second crash and screamed at the top of their lungs and ran up stairs. In their confusion, J.P. ran into Noah's room, and even after they realized this he didn't make her leave. They were both too scared to be alone right now.

**_THE NEXT MORNING..._**

J.P. had slept in Noah's room that night. When they both awoke, they went downstairs, surprised to see that Seto wasn't there. Seto often didn't leave them alone in the mornings, and especially not if they were all awake at the same time. _'I wonder what happened to Seto?' _Noah thought.

Atem spoke up exactly what Noah was thinking. "Where's that ass is the pain Seto Kaiba?"

"You mean 'pain in the ass' right? The way you said it made it sound weird,"Bakura said, not hyper for once.

"Pharaoh, your always so goody-goody. You've changed..." Marik commented.

"Ah, shove it up your ass," Atem said, putting jelly on the toast and looking out the window. Just as he was bringing it to his mouth, J.P. snatched it out of his hand and ate it. Atem wasted no time sending her to the shadow realm.

Noah stared at Atem, then at the spot where J.P. had stood only moments ago. After a long silence he pointed at Atem and yelled, "OMIGOD!!! HE'S FINALLY ACTNG LIKE A YAMI!!!"

J.P. returned after only about 5 minutes in the shadow realm. "Finally the slowest horse crosses the finish line." she said clapping. "So, are you interested in taking over the world, or are you not quite 'at that level'?" This pricked his ego, and BOY did he have a_** HUGE** _ego.

"Shut up, you bitch," he replied coldly.

"What you call me?!" She said, standing as tall as she could.

Atem stood up and walked towards her. Even though she was trying to look tall, She was still a little shorter than he was. "Not only are you bitchy, your also deaf."

"WHO YOU CALLIN' BITCHY, YOU MAN-WHORE?!?!" J.P. shouted.

"WHO YOU CALLIN' A MAN-WHORE, YOU SLUT?!?!?" Atem shouted back.

"OH, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE THE 30,000 YEAR OLD GUY THAT INHABITS THE BODY OF A 15-YEAR-OLD BOY?!?!"

"YOUR CERTAINLY ONE TO TALK! WHAT ABOUT FATE? YOU INHABIT HER BODY AND YOUR AS OLD AS ME!!!"

"AT LEAST MY HAIR STYLE DOESN'T FRIGHTEN SMALL CHILDREN!"

"AT LEAST MY HAIR STYLE IS COOL!"

"'COOL'?!?! THAT THING COULD BE A FREAKIN' MURDER WEAPON!!!"

"AT LEAST MY HAIRSTYLE WILL GET ME NOTICED!!!"

"OF COURSE IT'LL GET YOU NOTICED! HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE A GUY WITH A GAY LOOKING PUZZLE AROUND HIS NECK WITH A DEEP VOICE AND SPIKY HAIR THAT'S FUCKIN' _TRICOLORED_?!?!"

"AT LEAST MY DIFFERENCE IN HAIR COLOR IS NATURAL! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THAT HUH?!?!"

"NATURAL?!?! OH PLEASE! THAT HAIR COLOR IS JUST AS NATURAL AS PEGASUS' GENDER!"

"YOU JUST CROSSED THE LINE, BITCH!"

" WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT DRAG QUEEN?!?!"

"I AM NOT A DRAG QUEEN!!!"

"OH CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER, DRAGGY!!!"

"FUCK YOU!!!"

"OH, YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU!?!?"

"SEE?!?! THAT JUST PROVES YOUR A SLUT!!!"

"HOW DOES THAT PROVE ANYTHING?!?!"

"YOU JUST SAID IT!"

"SHUT UP! YOU BELONG IN FUCKIN' JUVI!!!"

"THIS COMING FROM THE GIRL WHO SET THE SCHOOL ON FIRE?!?! I'M SURPRISED THEY DIDN'T FUCKIN' THROW YOU IN PRISON!!!"

"UH, NEWSFLASH! THEY _DID _THROW ME IN JAIL, I JUST GOT OUT!!!"

"HOW? DID YOU BREAK OUT OR DID THEY LET YOU GO 'CAUSE YOU WERE A GOOD FUCK FOR THE WARDEN?!?!"

"OH YOU CAN JUST GO STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!"

"HA! YOU DIDN'T DENY IT! IT MUST BE TRUE!"

"Bitch..." she whispered under her breath.

"I win. I always win," Atem said smugly.

"Yeah right. You use that gay puzzle to cheat at children's card games. Now if that ain't the saddest thing," she said

Before Atem could reply (and probably start another argument), Mokuba screamed as loud as he could from under the table where he had taken refuge just in case furniture started to fly. The last time J.P. got into an argument with someone the police and CNN got involved. And anything CNN is involved with, you don't wanna be.

Everyone was calm and dressed by noon. But because it was the middle of the school day, all there was to watch on TV were baby cartoons. After all, both Noah and Mokuba were home schooled and the yamis don't go to school at all (yeah... obvious reasons).

"Hey guys what was that?" Noah said.

"What?" Mokuba said.

"I don't hear anything," Atem said.

Me either," J.P. said.

"HUSH!" Noah whispered loudly. They all became silent and put _Charlie and Lola_ on mute. (O.O Charlie and Lola? Why'd I pick Charlie and Lola???) As a matter of fact they could hear a soft _click click, beep, whir, click, whir_ that seemed to get louder every few seconds. Until...

"FREEZE!!!" said the cliched voice of a police officer.

"WAH!!!" They all shouted, as large and probably very deadly weapons were pointed at them. Before they could understand what was going on, they were unconsious.

When they opened their eyes all any of them could see was utter darkness except for a very narrow slit of light. They appered to be moving. Bakura stood up, but before he could make his full height, he hit his head and slumped back down.

"Owww..." he muttered.

"Guys, either we're in jail, or we're in a cage!" Mokuba said, fright in his voice.

"Well, they both are very logical, after what we've been doing." Noah said, his voice strangely distant. "Actually, I think we've each put in a seperate cage."

"Speak for yourself! I got stuck with Draggy over here!" J.P. yelled

"SHUT UP!" Atem shouted.

"Why don't you friggin' make me baka pharoah!"

"Guys, now isn't the time to be at each other's throats," Mokuba said.

"Besides, I have a migrain..."Marik said, his voice oddly soft.

"Marik? Marik??? MARIK ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!" Bakura shouted

"OF COURSE I'M ALIVE, YOU DUMDASS! NOW STOP SHOUTING!" Marik shouted.

They soon where stopped when the doors opened, illuminating each cage. Noah's and Mokuba's were big enough for them to stand in, while Bakura had to bend over slightly, and Marik's cage was only tall enough for him to lie down in, which he was doing, so no problems. J.P. and Atem's cage would be big enough to stand in, if it had been made that way. It had been made horizontally, so they were forced to lie on their stomachs next to each other. This made their shouting that much more annoying to the other because they were in the perfect position to scream in the other's ear.

"Welcome to your new home," they heard the cold voice of Seto Kaiba say.

Tey wheeled quickly to a door and pushed in. Logically, Seto didn't open the cages, because he knew he'd get bum rushed, and he really didn't want that. He got enough trenchcoats dirty per day with the fangirls.

"Seto, what are you doing?" Mokuba said, his vision blurring even though he didn't even know why he should be sad.

"Hmph," Seto said. "You guys've caused me enough trouble. Then I found this nice traveling-"

Mokuba's eyes widened substantialy. He anticipated the next word and fell to his knees as dinosaur sized tears ran from his eyes.

"-orphanage"

"WHAT?!?!" Everyone but Mokuba shouted.

"DUDE, ARE YOU HIGH?!?!" J.P. screamed

"Ow, watch the ear..." Atem murmured, digging his pinky into his ear.

"Yeah!" Noah shouted. "You have no legal right to give us to an orphanage!"

"Actually," Seto said closing his eyes. "As your legal guardian, I CAN do that. And The yamis, since they technically aren't people, they don't have legal rights anyway. Mokuba, I don't plan on giving you away, but the rest of you are dead to me." Seto walked to Mokuba's cage and opened the cage. He stepped out, and looked at the people he had spent so much time with.

"Mokuba..." Noah whispered

"Mokuba, please don't tell me you're serious? You're just going to leave us hangin' lyke dat?" Atem said.

"Atem, THAT is why if you talk street in in the slums and/or ghetto, you get shot." Bakura said.

"Mokuba please..." Noah said, plead was evident in his voice. Mokuba stood before his step brother and looked him in the eyes. "Please..." Mokuba was silent.

"I'm sorry Noah. This is...the only choice I can make..."

"NO!!!" J.P. shouted. This alerted everyone. "If there is no other option then it's not a choice! You always have a choice! Is this really what you choose?"

"Yes... It is..."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The person who created Yu Gi Oh was a dude and I'm a girl. Do the math (If you say 'sex change' your fucking dead!)

* * *

They all stared dumbfounded at Mokuba as he left the room and turned his back on them. All of a sudden, Bakura felt a rising hatred in his chest. He wanted Mokuba dead. That in itself was nothing new, he wanted everyone dead. But Mokuba was one of the few people he considered to be okay to not kill (in his mind that makes sense). Bakura punched the floor of his cage, and as soon as he did, he jumped up, hit his head, and crumpled to the floor. 

"That baka ka...HOW DARE HE LEAVE US!?!?" He shouted.

"You've got to consider his reasons. He made a wise choice," Noah said.

"SO YOU'RE DEFENDING THAT BAKA KA?!" Marik shouted. They all thought he was asleep. Or even better, dead.

"Don't call him a baka ka... He's not a stupid asshole," Noah said.

"I have to agree with them, Noah." J.P. said. "I don't care what his reasons were, he shouldn't have left us."

The men brought the yamis plus Noah into the orphage. J.P.'s hand passed to her heart. Noah caught this and said, "Brings back bad memories, huh?"

She nodded. "Reminds of 'back then'. Before I messed with the Thief King." she said as her eyes made a mental note that bakura liked picking on girls with weird hair colors (he was continuosly poking the back of a plum-haired girl. Oddly, Atem wasn't trying to stop him).

J.P. wanted to relax for a bit so she went to a room full of beds. She rested on one that had her name scratched into it. She rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. Then she did something that she had never done before in her whole entire life.

She cried.

She had always thought only girly-girls cried. Only wusses who couldn't take a punch cried. Growing up in Eygypt where people stole, fought, and even killed each other to survive; she couldn't afford to cry. She once busted her lip and sprained her ankle to the point she couldn't walk at all and she didn't cry. Her sobs got louder and louder. She thought she heard someone call her, but she couldn't be sure. Then someone touched her back and stroked it gently. She turned her head to see Noah.

"Are you okay?" He said softly. Noah was like J.P.'s brother. J.P. was like Noah's sister. "I didn't think I'd ever live to see you cry."

"I'm...f-f-f-fine." J.P. said. She was trying to calm herself down, but it was hard. Her head was pounding, but she felt a bit happier.

"How d'you feel? I hear that when you cry you always feel better afterwards."

"P-p-pretty g-good."

"To tell you the truth, I wish I could cry right now. But... I can't."

"Why?" J.P. Her eyes had gone red, but her voice was calmer.

"A lot of you life in a virtual reality will do that to you."

"Okay. Look, I have a plan to get us outta here and it's pretty simple." J.P. was back to her old self, even though she looked kind of pathetic.

"Back to your old tricks I see." Noah said. "Okay, what's the plan?"

"I've been working on my ability to teleport."

"You can teleport?"

"Well...no. You see teleportation requires an enormous amount of shadow magic. So much, that there is no way I could do it on my own. But I think if Me, Bakura, Marik, the Baka Pharoah, and you work together, then we could pull it off."

"How could I help? I don't have Shadow Magic."

"Ah, but you do. Your dark half contains Shadow Magic. The millinium items amplify that energy. So if you can learn to harvest that energy, then we're good to go!"

"And HOW would I do that?" Noah asked.

"It's easy. All you have to do is focus intently on burning something. And if it bursts into flames, then we're good to go."

He stared at the bed across from him and kept complete focus. After about 30 seconds it burst into flames.

"Cool." Noah said.

J.P. wasn't as relaxed. She was rolling everywhere screaming "Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop and roll!"

**_THAT NIGHT..._**

J.P. woke her companions plus the Baka Pharoah. She explained her plan and everyone joined hands. They harvested as much Shadow Magic as they could and focused on Kaiba Mansion. They felt everyone begin to pull away from each other. Not on purpose, that was just the effects of being transported through thin air. After what felt like ages, the pulling finally stopped and they all collapsed on the carpet.

_Wait, carpet?!_

They felt beneath them and looked around. It was true! They had teleported back to Kaiba Mansion. They trudged up the steps and went to sleep. They had had enough for one day/night.

Of course, the yamis felt even more welcome when Mokuba started to hug them (He didn't touch Bakura or Marik, he valued his life.) and repeatedly appologized for leaving them. And Seto's profound swearing made them feel perfectly happy.

* * *

_Yeah, so this is finished._

_Are you going to go back to writing actual HUMOR?_

_Yup. This was just character development. The yamis will go on a killing rampage next chappie._

_Wait... KILLING rampage?_

_No you can't go._

_You're mean..._


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The person who created Yu Gi Oh was a dude and I'm a girl. Do the math (If you say 'sex change' your fucking dead!)

Chapter thingy: Seto has HAD IT! The yamis are the goverment's problem now! (Or are they?)

* * *

J.P., Bakura, Marik, Atem, Mokuba, and Noah were all dragged out of bed at an impossible hour. The 6 signs of armageddon were thrown downstairs, and they were very lucky to survive because the Kaiba Mansion had an inhuman amount of stairs. The first one to land on the floor was Atem, then J.P., Mokuba, Marik, Noah, then Bakura. After being completely shmoshed (I like that word, deal with it) Atem picked himself and yelled up the steps.

"COLD WATER WORKS TOO, Y'KNOW!"

"YEAH, BUT THIS WAY IS A LOT MORE FUN!" Seto replied. And they all agreed that besides being shmoshed, that it was fun. Bakura just said it was fun, because he didn't have anyone shmosh him. And Bakura didn't really care who he shmoshed, but you gotta feel sory for Mokuba because he got shmoshed by the big people. And shmosh, shmosh, shmosh, shmosh...

Okay, back to the story.

They found out that they had finally pushed Seto over the edge, because he was going to enroll them in school. (bum bum bummmm! ...sorry) The yamis and Noah are going to be enrolled in Domino High (Noah is around 16. He really is, I'm not making this up!). Mokuba, because he wasn't really old enough, was enrolled in Domino Middle. Atem, (who is finally acting like a yami)Bakura, Marik, and Noah thought that this was an opportunity to raise hell. J.P. did too, but the fact that she was force to wear a skirt pissed her off too much to really think about that.

Roland drove up to Domino High, and Seto threw out the 5 trouble makers. J.P. quickly scrambled to her feet and pulled down her skirt a little.

"I'm never wearing a skirt ever again without leggings," she muttered.

The boys stood up and walked into the hallways that were the High School highway. They turned directly to the right and walked into the office, which smelled like a hospital. J.P. tried to inch out of the office, but was grabbed by the arm by Atem. She srceamed and kicked, but Atem had no intentions of actually letting her go.

"Excuse me," Noah said. The fugly woman who sat typing before a computer looked up at the green-haired Noah. "Me and my friends are just starting here. We would like our-"

"LEMME GO! THE SYRINGE STINGS!! IT SSSSTINGSSSS!!" J.P. shouted, trying to get out of the office. "THE RED FLUID IS MY PRECIOUSSSSSS-"

"J.P., SHUT YOUR SHMAD!" Bakura shouted. (basic translation: Shit, you're mad!)

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!" Marik shouted at Bakura.

"Both of you shut up, or I'll feed you to the Kraken!" Atem said, struggling to keep J.P. from getting away.

"You don't have a Kraken!" J.P., Bakura, and Marik yelled at Atem.

"EVERYBODY SHUT YOU'RE SHMOD!" Noah shouted at the 4 yamis. (basically translated: Shut your mouth!) "Anyway, we would like our class schedules please."

"Um, are you sure you don't have us confused with an asylum?" The woman asked politely.

"Honestly, I don't even know," Noah said as he noticed that Bakura and Marik were throwing Sharpies at each other. "But I don't think that our asylum appointment is until 7:30. So until that time, we're going to need our schedules."

"Names?"

"Kaiba Noah, Yami Atem, Yami Bakura, Yami Marik, and Yami Jasponette," he said as if he had recited it dozens of times.

"Are those four related then?" She said, indicating the fight cloud that had formed in the background.

"No, it's just a weird coincidence. A freaky, scary, Epic Movie coincidence," Noah said taking the papers and leaving the office. The yami fight cloud followed him out like a loyal pet. "Guys, check out the schedules."

The fight cloud quickly dispersed as the yamis looked at the schedules. The first thing they noticed was that there were class names at the top with the one they were in circled. The actual schedule was on the back.

"I'm in class 1-ROFLCOPTER," J.P said seriously.

"Class 1-MOFO," Bakura said.

"1-Just Jordan," Marik said

"I'm in 4-chan," Atem said

"Really? Me too," Noah said looking over at Atem's schedule. "Man, these classes have some pretty retarded names."

**_IN THE SCHOOL CLASS MANAGING OFFICE_**

"Are you done with the new class names, Mr. Krunkity?"

"EEK! OOK! OOKIE!"

(Mr. Krunkity is a monkey. :))

**_BACK TO THE STORY_**

The yamis all went to their respective homerooms to begin the day of marvoulous educationing!

_**FF to the lunch period**_

"The art teacher is a lesbian whore," J.P. said, putting a french fry into her mouth. Noah sat next to her while Bakura and Marik sat across from her. Atem was at another table all together.

"You think the ART teacher's bad? Please. The biology teacher get horny off of frog guts," Noah said, putting a chicken nugget in his mouth, then quickly spat it out. "This thing his hard as hell!" He shouted and threw in a random direction. Then the random voice off of Spongebob shouted "My leg!"

"The math teacher likes little albinoes," Marik commented causing Bakura to spit chocolate milk across the lunchroom. He turned to Marik slowly with horror in his eyes.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. There's this other albino boy in my class, and when he went to the board, the guy was feeling up his ass with his eyes." Marik said, putting a slice of pizza to his lips.

"Damn, I got that perverted bastard next period..." Bakura muttered, coughing slightly.

"Don't worry 'Kura. If you think he's oogling your ass, send his to the Shadow Realm," J.P. offered.

"Yeah. Hey, I think the music teacher is hearing empared. I heard that she tried to fuck with this one guy, but she wanted to stay a virgin, so she told the guy to put his-"

"I REALLY don't wanna know," Noah said screwing up his eyes.

"Hey, what do you want to do to end this annoying 'school' thing?" Marik said, scratching his forhead

"I have an idea, but I need you guys to get certain liquids from the Chem. lab," Noah said. "I had Chem lab already."

"What do you need?" J.P. asked.

"Well, first I need..."

**_FF to the end of the school day_**

"Did you guys get what I asked for?" Noah asked to yamis in the hallway.

"Yeah," Bakura said, shifting his bag slightly.

"Good. Let's go."

Noah led the yamis onto the front lawn and led them to the back entrance. Out of his bag he took a green roket and began to set it up. Bakura, Marik, and J.P. took out the liquids Noah asked for. He took the viles and poured them into a glass container, and set the cork in. Noah pulled a box of matches out of his back pocket and lit one expertly. He lowered it, and the fuse lit. The rocket shot up, and broke a window.

"How is that supposed to-"

"Not done," Noah said simply. He handed Marik the vile. "Aim at the window the rocket went though." Marik did as he was told and threw the container into the window. "Now, we better leave."

The yamis followed Noah into the limo, still not totally understanding what they had just done.

**_FF to the next morning_**

"GAKIS! GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE!" Seto shouted at the 5 teens that were sitting at the dining room table. They walked into the living room as Seto turned up the volume of the television. "I taped this from the news last night." This is what they heard:

"...And in other news, a mysterious deseased fungus has infected the halls of Domino High. Police state that the fungus in question is not natural, but instead a strange mix of chemicals obscure to even scientists. The police also say that the combination used, could be found in the common Chemistry Set. The school will be perminently closed until the source is found, and a compound to counter-act it is discovered. Now, Willy will talk to you about how pornagraphy actually makes you smarter-" Seto stopped to tape there, and glared directly at Noah.

"Did you tape the rest of that? How does porn make you smarter?" Noah asked innocently.

"What did you gakis do to that school?"

"How do you know that we did it?" Noah asked. The yamis still didn't quite grasp the concept of what they had done the day before.

"1) They said that it wasn't naturally grown, 2) it could be found in the school, and if I remeber correctly, don't you have a Chemistry Set? 3)It stumps even scientists. That falls under the heading of 'Noah' unless there's another self-centered brat out there."

"That's not proof," Noah said in his own defense.

"No, but this is." Seto fast forwarded the tape until the clock in the lower right-hand corner said 1:45 am. This is what they heard:

"...A rocket, moldy and painted green, was found on the 4th floor."

Seto zoomed in, and enhanced the image. The initials, NK could be seen written ever so extremely faintly on the side.

"Does 'grounded until the day after the end of time' sound good to you?"

* * *

_Well, another chappie finished. I'm thinking about putting all my stories on hold until, like, August. You know, life reasons._

_And all hell shall be raised!_

_Go back to my basement._

**_REVIEW! WE COMMANDTH YE TO REVIEW -ITH!!_**


End file.
